To be Or Not to be ….Pregnant….Yet again!
Disclaimers & Acknowledgement – With all due respect to my friends who, have/are in the process of having/are planning to have, their second( or so forth) child – I love you all and do respect your decision! It’s an individual[read couple] choice after all!
I love you mom and dad who brought me in this world, as their second child!
Well, there’s something about this [read Indian] society, that they would keep on asking you about your future plans – When are you completing your education?How is the job..Are they giving you good salary…Any chances of promotion? When r u getting married? When are you having kids…?? and should you worry, the advises come in handy too, absolutely free of cost. I am in a stage now, where from the last year, the wise suggestion that was thrown on to me all the time was “ You are not even working now, It’s the right time to have the second kid”.
I must confess, they actually managed to confuse/ almost convince me as well. It was then when I did a research on Benefits of having a second kid [LOL..yes, I do have lots of time at my disposal], and that made my decision stronger. I discussed it with Bhupesh, the only one who should be involved in this decision making for our family, and we were both on the same page. So for all those ladies, who are still in a dilemma, here are some points to be noted….Again, I would like to remind you to just take directions, The decision certainly remains a personal choice.
Myth 1: Single kids are more prone to be arrogant and non-sharing.
My Opinion – Latest studies have revealed that this is nothing but an upbringing/personality attribute. The scene now is totally different then what it was 20 years ago. Children now are going to pre-schools much earlier and learn to deal with lots of same-age kids. This early grooming has a great impact on their personality.
Myth 2: Everyone has at least 2 kids
My Opinion – I have met many DISK[Double Income Single Kid] and SISK[Single Income Single Kid] Parents. They are both equally content and happy as their Double Kids counterparts.
Myth 3: Siblings are the best Support systems
My opinion – Ambani brothers are siblings, aren’t they? Well, they are not the only examples. I believe, Friends are the best support systems, after your parents of course.
I once overheard a doctor(pediatrician) say, “Selfish are the parents who don’t give their first child a sibling”. To a new parent, a statement like that, coming from an educated and learned doctor, would be quite a blow you see. I gave a lot of time to myself to think over this. Was I really being selfish? No, was my answer. In fact, no parent can ever be ‘selfish’ when it comes to ‘giving’ something to their child. This decision is simply the matter of how you see things, what’s your angle. Every angle is good, because it comes from a parent, who truly and sincerely, love their offspring.
To bring a child in this world, one should be emotionally, physically as well as financially prepared. “Every child comes with his own destiny” is fine, but at least to be a good parent, you have to be well prepared. You may differ with me on this, but I want to give everything that I can, only to my one child. I don’t want to share her things/her time with anything or anyone. I want to give her the best I can and don’t want any division, whatsoever, of my time, my love, my attention, my energy when I am with her and even my money, that I would spend on her.
She has been a life changing phenomena in our lives and I want it to be like that. If its one of a kind, you cherish that experience more, isn’t it? Just let it be. Why duplicate everything? Until now I have raised her with full capability and would like to continue to do so forever…
So, to all those who would like us to bring another one on the planet, please give rest to your advise. We have our decision in place. And as much as we respect you, we would like you to respect our decision, as well.
And to End on a funny note, as the quote goes – “If people are supposed to learn from their mistakes, Why do they have a second child”…
Yeah Yeah,I know, They aren’t any mistake, they are just cute little monsters you can’t live without